I look up, I look down I look left and I look right I see the road in front of me is full of knives on one side, and on the other the road is full of spikes. It doesn’t matter what decision I make its going to be a painful result either way, one path just gives me cuts the other one gives me stabs. Whether is up high or down low the pain will rise and make its mark for an attempt to kill. Would you rather trade in your life to save another or be the coward that watches other die and have you watch them go through the pain you said you would live for them, and hearing their voices in your head replaying, “its your fault that I died.” Or would you swallow your pride and save them, knowing that they would do the same for you.
Whether you realize it or not you would be in too much shock too even make a decision right at the moment the worst situation happens, but if you anticipate the situation then you always have a plan that you will remember if ever that situation happens. Sometimes people say they would give up their lives for you, but when it really comes down to it they back out, but when some people say it they really mean it and those are the people who really have your back when you need someone to look up to.
I’ll take a walk down the road, I smell the scent of cigarettes light up, I see someone smoking a cigarette, knowing that I will have the want for one I hold back knowing that I don’t need it. I keep walking passing all the places where I’ve had memories build up with friends, some see me and some don’t, I don’t expect to be found after I disappear in thin air, I don’t expect to be found, because I’ll be long gone far from here. Those who attempt to find me won’t be able to because I will drift into think air, those whom don’t attempt to find me will never know what happened.
I take the long walk so I won’t be a worry to the minds of those who care. When my voice it kept shut once, don’t try to make me talk because the part of me that talked so much had died long ago, but the looks of the person is still alive and living whatever is left of me. I always looked forward and looked back to check if everything was going the way its suppose to be, but every night I have arguments with myself over the same things that hit me every time. One side says I’m right the other side says I’m wrong, half of me says take it all back and start fresh today, the other half says forget bout everything else, just keep doing what has to be done.
I keep arguing with myself screaming back and fourth expressionless in my head while on the outside I just start up into the ceiling at night watching the fight spark up in small films playing from my head. I stop myself from thinking, but the films just keep replaying over and over again in my head, then I start thinking again, in the end of its all the part of me that should never have made the decision has won the argument. It starts over again from beginning to end nonstop and finally finishes with the better side that should have won in the first place.
Would you remember people for who they are to you or what they’ve done? Life is complicated like love, but if you work at it, you’ll know which direction you’re going to be pulled into or which path you know you’re walking on. If you walk on a path of broken hearts you put up walls that hides your heart, you would be scared to fall in love again, to scared to open up your heart to someone who would change the way you see things on life.
But if those walls don’t come down, how will you know what’s on the other side if you don’t at least try to look. If you walk on a path where everything seems perfect but its really not then you’ve already shown yourself telling lies when you don’t need to. You walk on a path that has troubles, but no major bumps, you’ve been able to move somewhere along the path to change and make a better future for yourself.
How long could you miss a person that you love, how long could you keep them in your heart before someone else comes into you’re life and makes you’re stomach flip on a new leaf? How long can you stand to be away from them if you can’t even stand being near them? These questions are only answered by yourself with thought, if you keep on thinking about it to set yourself straight.
Have you ever felt so out of place that you can’t even think straight, and your trying to categorize every thought in your head, while apart of you doesn’t even want to find out what the real reason is for me to feel so out of place. Apart of you would tell you, “Alright let’s go, we can get through this, just keep searching,” while the other side of you says, “Forget it, you can’t find it, because if you do, its going to hurt us and you, so keep it hidden.” Even if the powers go out from a storm, don’t ever think that its the end of the world, because sometimes you just have to put your hands together and pray and hope for the best.