Make It Or Break It

I see it, I hear it, I know it, so why bother repeating the same words over again. I can kill the voices only if I kill myself. My mind can play its tricks, but my heart will let it go. Let them break the chains, let them crack the glass, let them throw their bombs. As long as you know the truth nothing can hurt your heart. You may not be made of gold, you may not be burned through metal. But you are hard as stone, break the knots burn the bridges and cut the ropes. Hold a knife to your throat and debate on a scratch or suicide.

Someone once said, “My greatest inspiration is in my darkest hour.” Which is a true statement because during your darkest hour is when all your true feelings show up. During your darkest hour is when you will gain your courage and hope, lies make come up, but deep thought will run through you’re mind faster than you can even talk. Lessons will be taught and learns, life is your book, and you’re the author, the way the words are said is the way you write your story and play your part.

Through thick and thin it will always be difficult to get pass all odd but there’s always a way to make it work even if sacrifices have to be made. You can’t walk out on everything, because you will miss the most beautiful moments in life. Everything has a color and everything has a hidden side, secrets are locked away stories and photos are in closed shelves, and memories are sealed with a kiss. Take it or leave it life is made the way you make it, from light to dark and from night to day.

Mystery Girl

A child that grows up free and happy, her smile will always be one of the things that light up her family’s world. A child is in her own world when she’s a little girl, but as she grows up, she realizes that everything becomes more and more difficult. Her life went from easy to live to hard to deal with everything, every time a fight in her family happens with anyone including her she wishes, she could disappear, she wishes she was gone hoping that the fights would never happen at all. She always has her wishes she didn’t want to be born whenever an argument ever came up.

She listens to her heart as her last resort to bring her back to reality. She tries to figure out the fights that go on every night, but they never get settled, every night its always the same thing repeating. She prays every night for the arguments to stop, hoping God would have some kind of solution to put a stop to it all. She goes to school everyday acting all happy, and keep her sadness bottled up in her heart, to not let anyone see her tears run down her face. Every night she cries and cries, hoping for a change but it never happens, she keeps crying until she can never shed a tear for anything.

Mystery Child 2

She’s sees you but she cannot hear you, she’s looks for you, but cannot talk to you. When she hears your voice she has no way to find you, she walks everywhere to try to see, but she’s blocked by darkness. She tries to stay calm and not scream her anger out, but she keeps screaming. She keeps her mouth shut to keep herself and ignore those who look her down.

Half her heart walks a thousand miles everyday to see a black heart rise and fall into her life, while the other half just keeps walking a thousand miles everyday and never stops. She wishes she could fall into the sky and keep going as time passes by.

She has no reason to live, she has no talent to show, and no impressions to make on people. She’s only seen one way, and no one ever bothers to be given a chance to explore the real her. She keeps pushing herself to talk, every chance she gets, but at every attempt that she earns, she is always silenced while everyone talks over her. She has no way out, and she lives in the dark, her light had died with her dreams.

She wasn’t spoiled, she wasn’t poor, she wasn’t jealous, she wasn’t old but she wasn’t too young either, she was stuck. Stuck in a world where she had no way out, no where to run, no where to go. She’s lonely and she is lost. Since she is stuck she sits, sits in a bed, a bed in the hospital where people are trying to figure out what is wrong with her.

They keep trying and trying, but they never figured it out, even she doesn’t even know what was going on with her. Her eyes move left and right, while her brain moves back and forth between her ages, she’s stuck and she knows it. She’s lost and she can’t do anything about it, because she doesn’t even know what’s wrong with her.

Mystery Child

Dark skies, bright stars, cold winds, icy drops of rain running down her warm back. She shivers and shakes, cold air of the winds run against her face turning it red and slowly turning numb. She’s wrapped up in warm clothing, but still feels the iciness of the cold running through her body numbing every part of her, she falls to the ground in a small corner and curls into a ball, attempting to use what’s left of her warmth for the rest of her body.

She tries to move but the more she moves the colder she becomes, she keeps moving slowly stretching herself out to move trying to stand up and walk. As she starts walking she holds herself up against the wall railings within her surroundings to keep her balance. Even though she’s cold she walks around looking for whatever food she find, hungry and homeless she tries to find her way around to make something of herself. She’s feeling hopeless knowing that she cannot do much at the moment.

She’s scared and has nowhere to go, and not one person to run to, with no place to run to and nowhere to go, she has no one to trust. She fears there is no hope for her in this cold world, she feels she’s covered by darkness all around her, she has no way out and not light to run to. Often she has black outs, but attempts to over-come them every time they take place.

She’s been disowned and called dead to the eyes of her own family, her own rebellious attitude towards her family and ruining of her own future. She hears whispers, but she doesn’t see whose talking, she feels them floating around her, but she can’t touch them. If she sees the spirits, her voice is silence before the evil touches her. She stands still for a moment to try to release the numbness from her body and adjust to the cold air. Her skin turns pail white and her eyes become bloodshot red, although wrapped in warm clothing the cold air stolen the warm feeling from her body and replaced it with cold air.

Her heart was covered in warm flesh, but its now replaced with cold-heart stone filled with sadness and hatred. Untrustworthy to the world, while underneath that cold sad child-like person, is a completely warm-hearted child filled with happiness locked up in a box, trying to break free but has no hope in doing so. She is frowned up on for wrong doings she doesn’t deserved to be frowned upon for because she has not committed any wrong doings through out her life. One day she won’t realize it, but there will be a group of people that will help her when she least expect it, the change in her life will occur when she’s asleep, and like a dream her life with flash right before her eyes.

Now she enjoys the new life she’s given and makes the best of it, knowing that she’s going to do everything in her power to not return to the unforgivable past and live through it again. Her quiet prayers were answered everyday as she fell asleep, with the picture of a family she once had hidden under her pillow. She hopes that one day they will accept her return with open arms full of love and forgiveness.

R.I.P Friend Letter 6

I hear whispers everywhere, I don’t know who their from, or for what reason I hear them. When I look around I still I hear them, but when I look up to see where there coming from they vanish. Every time a thought doesn’t come to me, a memory of you does, and I start to tear up when I try to let it go. I try to live the moment, when people are around, but when I’m sitting alone I hear every word that sounds like you’re the one saying them, instead of other people.

It’s hard not to tear up everyday, when there’s a memory that hits a nerve. I know I shouldn’t blame myself for you’re death but I do. I blame myself for not talking to you, for not being there for you when I should have been. Knowing that last night was halloween hit a nerve in my memory back in the day, when we walked through the haunted classrooms at school you, Sheila, and me, that night was my one and only best memories with you that time. You’re completely irreplaceable to many people, even to me. It’s been so long, but still you’re one of the dearest people to my heart. I could miss a thousand different people but you’re the one person I will always miss the most.

R.I.P. Friend Letter 5

It’s almost been a month since I found out you left, and I still can’t believe you’re gone. I wish I had my chance, and I know I regret not speaking or seeing you since we were kids. I could still see the memories of you laughing and running around, and I know you’re probably reading this as I’m typing this, since you’re looking down watching those who care about you.

Girl, sometimes I wish we could switch places, so that you could live you’re life more, because you were so young when you left. I can’t let missing you so much even if I had not seen, talked, or heard your voice for so long, it still hurt so know that you’re gone, and could have still been around fulfilling memories and spreading you’re amazing joy with every person that you met.

I’m glad she’s getting by, knowing that she misses you and still thinks of you every now and then. I know I shouldn’t be holding on you to anymore, but I still can’t let go, not yet. I can be sorry for many things, but I’m more sorry that I never took the time to talk to you, and I wish I had my chance to come back before you left.

You know, I’ve always been here for everyone to talk to, but I regret not being here for you not to talk to. I was glad that you still remembered me, and attempted to talk to me that one time on facebook. I only regret the fact that we really never got to talk or catch up at all, I wish I was able to see what you look like now because I only remember what you looked like when we were still kids.

Tonight is the night where the dead would have been revived if it really ever happened, and even then I will would have loved to see you again. Every year tonight always reminded me of that one memory we had at the imitation of the haunted house in school when everyone attempted to scare us all while we were walking through the classrooms.

I sometimes would always wonder why was I the lucky one, why me when it should have been my sweet dear cousin. Sometimes it seems a little funny how you’re one of the only people I could talk to who would listen even if I always got my answers very late, I never minded it. Every time I try to talk, think, sometimes even hear or see you, I always tend to choke up, because it very difficult to believe that you’re really gone.