Every night, I look up and always see his face in the dark, knowing that I can’t have him on my mind. I keep my eyes open and wonder when it will be over. I keep looking forward and taking everything day by day one step at a time. But everything just becomes easier only when you think of all the things that you know you shouldn’t have done, when they never listened, or when you just only did things to make them happy.
But yet, I can still move and it looks easy that you’d think I’ve already moved on, when I’m almost not even close to it at all, since the only thing that puts me anywhere near there, is when I think of all the times we’ve argued about what seemed to be useless to me.
And still I regret a few things because I know you never found out about it, and what makes it so much more worse is that you thought you understood what I was talking about, but never really thought about it or really understood it either.
Not everything can be done for you, nor given to you like a baby being fed. Most of the time you have to do everything on you’re on and every time you make it seem like you’re doing something for you, but instead you have others doing it for you, which makes me wonder if you’re still keeping anything from me.
No matter how much I doubt that there’s nothing hidden from me, I somehow find out do you attempt something without saying that you’re really not trying to do anything. Then denying it makes it all the more difficult because of how everything is.