Dark Clouds that Follow

I wonder how life would be if I never existed. I wish I never existed, so that people wouldn’t have to deal with me being a complete burden to them. Everything I do seems to go wrong, everything I feel seems to be against me, why am I bothered to even be alive anymore, why do I even exits, when death is my only wish alone. What is the point of me living, when I’m a burden to every person who is blood or not. I’m not worth anything but a piece of dirt picked from the sands of time.

Even the most loveable things seem to hate me. My heart slowly fills with hatred the more useless I feel the more pain that builds up in me even when I set it aside, the pain constantly builds. I look for a light. But all I see is darkness, I see no happiness in bothering to even be alive. I see no point in living and still I wonder whose lives I’ve touched.

I wonder who I’ve inspired to even see the point in living, yet I still believe I’m a burden to many for what reason is still unknown to me as I lay in bed wondering if I’m anything but a cursed child stuck in a useless body that’s a complete waste of a life. Let death be the first wish on my pedestal, as living is the last thing I’ll ever want. I’d rather be dead than alive for any person whose encountered me supposedly be the best or even the worse person at all.

Why I bother so much makes me wonder, why I’m even bothering to be alive at all. If I’m such a complete burden to so many people, I wish I disappeared off the face of the earth. Without a trace, not even the faintest bit of a words about, or of me should exist at all. My words are of no worth to convince anyone not even to a point to bother at all for anything in life.

As I’m a failure of everything, and everything to this day I’m still that cursed chilled, with a living death wish of wanting to be dead. Wanting to stay six feet underground in a wooden box full of emptiness, I’d rather be dead knowing that the people I’ve hurt would have complete freedom of the grasp I hold around them. Let me be the the first to die in every negative situation encountered.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.