Traded The Happiness For the Dark Corners Of Regret

I was once promised to be given the brightest star and the moon from the night sky, but I had to let it go. I was once promised a day where I wouldn’t have to worry, but now that’s all I do to keep myself occupied with everything I do. I know, I let it go, and it left right out the door with my heart and my happiness.

My tears can’t seem to fall anymore, my thoughts can’t seem to get you out of my head, you always walk in when you’re not suppose to be there, and yet you are. I know you’re already happy with someone else, because that’s what I wanted you to be when I let you walk away from me. Even though I regret letting you go, I knew, that someday you’d be better with someone else. Even though I gave you that curve to your smile that no other woman ever did and did things completely different, something always told me you could do better than me with someone else.

I know you don’t want to talk to me so I’ve already left you alone. I know you’ve called me every possible bad name to my physical, emotional, mental and verbal thoughts of everything to do with me. I don’t blame you for it, you have the right. I know I broke you too many times, I know I was the best and became the worse, I don’t blame you because you have the right to do it. I’ve tried to cut every emotion and thought about you from my mind, but that never seems to work. I know I can’t just walk out the door thinking you’d seem me with open arms, that’s never going to happen, and I don’t expect it to at all.

I know you’re happy that’s all that matters to me, my emotions and thoughts of you pop up every now and then in flashbacks and dreams, but I let it go. I know you want nothing to do with me, so I’m not bothering to think of you. But somehow you creep into my mind. I know you could care less about me or care less bothering to read this, and I doubt you bother reading anything I put anymore. Because if you did you’d already be cussing me out on my own posts as soon as you started reading them, which is fine to me. I know I deserve the most severe negativity from you, and like I said you have the right to do it, I won’t and don’t blame you for it.

Its my fault my happiness was thrown away, its my fault for a lot of things, but I take into the thoughts of how the future would look if I was stuck in the position where I couldn’t do anything. To you I’m hopeless, to you I’m stupid, to you I’m the worse girlfriend, and to you I’m a hoe, go on say it all and let it out, I know I deserve it. It’s not the first or the last thoughts that always pulled me down. I regret letting you go, but I’m completely happy that you’re happy, even if its not with me.

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