Eye for Pain or Eye Pleasure

Everyone says music is their life, music is their love, and music never fails them. This is not true for everyone, but for some people. But for me, I see words, I see poems being made on the spot. I see words flowing through ink on paper, I see words being printed onto the screen with the tapping on the letter buttons on a keyboard. I look everywhere I go I see words written on the walls. Like inscriptions on a wall I see every word engraved with a pen and paper, either full of full of pain or full of emotions. Some happy, some sad, and some desperately craving attention for no reason. But not a single one shows the thirst for their passion that they so deeply day they crave for.

Have you seen it yet? That mask that everyone puts forward. A front that’s nothing my a brick wall served as protection to block out all the dangers that would hurt a person. A block so strong that as you grew closer to someone it would instantly break with nothing except a whisper. A whisper that could kill their passion, their motivation to keep them going for what they really want to be in life. That whisper can be a person’s strength or weakness. Just that one little itty bitty cracked in a mirror or better yet a window. Just one hard forceful throw at a window and you can easily watch the cracks spend so far in less than a second the windows glass shards can explode into your face at and cover you in scratches and scars. As dark as this post seems it’s really not dark at all, because the darkness of this post hasn’t fully been unleashed it’s only opened open a box that looked like it has been closed for years.

But the person who’s trying to keep it closed is trying so hard because they know once the darkness floats out of the box it would consume the person and they would never be the same person that anyone ever knew. They would see the light, but they would be heartless, cold, but still look young and had that innocent face that would fool you so easily. That it would shock you or maybe ever make have a flabbergasted expression painted on your face to look at them completely different. But that’s how the words are, aren’t they? Only letters put together and originally they mean something much more in the olden days but now have no meaning, and no luster, no shine to make it seem like it’s a word to be seemingly happy. Any would have been turned into something to mean the complete opposite of what it’s really supposed to be, with more words that are also sounding more useless than ever.

Fear Takes Over

Is it that I think too much? Is it that I’m faithless?  Is it that I’m too scared of anything and everything?  Or is it the shine that was once there is now gone. Dare I try to search for happiness, when I’m covered by shadows, when the bonds were broken and the bridges wee burn. Where was the world when all I saw was pitch black? Call me blind, I’ll admit it. Call me a coward I’ll admit it. Call me a liar show me your evidence. Call me a name to objectify a woman, show me your evidence, and not you hear say.
Degrade me to the very last existence of my self esteem I’ll take it in and give you a compliment.  Bury me in physical harm, I shall fight back with all my might. Throw an object at me, I’ll throw it back to you. Throw my body against walls I’ll scream and retaliate quickly. Give me a nightmare, I’ll live it until it ends. Give me a memory and in seconds it will disappear.
Drain my brain of fluids and I’ll stay still. Poison my insides and I’ll haunt you in spirit. Failure to put me in the ground will cause you plenty if regret. Hang me from a noose, so people could see your happiness from a murder, of what looked to be a child. Beat me with every breath you have, and waste your energy so keep you thinking your revenge will give you the best attention you’re asking for. Break my spirits while I’m already broken. Color me black and blue and if you look closer you can see the scars of slashes and slices for what we’re once bloody cuts.
The fall was simple, but was the drop you launched that easy, as it was being planned. Did you achieve the seeing the blood dripping from an innocent body, thinking it was someone you hated to the very core of your own bone. Or was it only a coincidence that they looked almost as similar to them. Did that urge you let consume you, until you realize your act was a total failure to satisfy your craving.
Did those good memories in your brain show you an image you didn’t want to believe is true, or did you just push it away like every person, who knew they could get close to you, and when they did you couldn’t admit the fact you finally grew a heart. That you’re finally filling that void that has been drilled deep into your body. It had been drilled so deep that the connections of that void was like a black whole, a bottomless pit.

A Smile Filled with Pain Earned Happiness

Everything runs through my head left and right. It’s like I have a war that can’t choose which side to pick. I lost it, I lost that sunshine. It’s gone it’s walked out one with that smile. That damned devilish smile that ripped my heart up onto pieces when I was a young girl. That devilish smile that gave me burns all over my skin. That devilish smile that signaled your workers to take a chunk of my last away. That worker that knew he really didn’t want to bite me.
 
He knew how bad it would hurt but he wanted his freedom. His freedom from pain, his freedom from your wrath so he took your bribe and pretended to be merciless. It was always that smile that was a signal for something,  whether it was sweet or painful. When he left, it was that same worker that bit me, that same worker came to beg for forgiveness, and I gave it to him.
I gave him his forgiveness, he kept it close, and in return protected me when you couldn’t do it. Although, he died a peaceful death, knowing what he died for, he had left with a smile on his face. Because he knew he did something right even if he was to be placed in what he thought he was a trap, he saw his goodness taking over and was lifted by angels.

I’ll Never Know You

I’ll never know you
I used to know you
 I used to know who you were
I used to know everything about you
But no…
I’ll never know you
I’ll never know who you are 
I’ll never know the person who I helped shaped from rags to riches again
I’ll never know you
Because… anything I say is meaningless. 
As much effort as I wish I could put into it
I will only be nothing but a passer’s by to you. 
Nope,
 Nothing but words that won’t do anything, not even show a smile.
I’ll never know you, 
the person who’s changed to someone new and better. 
No, 
I’ll never know you,
 even if it picks at me by emotions, 
it won’t exist. 
So quiet I keep myself, 
to let you walk away, 
watch you be in a better place, 
where I won’t speak a word, 
or make a sound,
 not even show a smile. 
So it won’t affect me as …
I stand numb enough not to move,
 I force myself to stand still 
Not stop you, 
You won’t have to push me away
Because I know its what I did that made you walk away
 I deserve for you to walk out like I’m a speck of dust.

Did You Forget?

Any hoe can hoe you out, but if a hoe’s gonna be desperate enough to check you they better be damn sure to know that they’re gonna get the unexpected. Bitch, did you forget that what you want is already mine? Did you forget what you’re trying get is never going to be yours? I’m pretty sure you forgot that I still and always will be better than you by a hell of a long shot, because what you can’t pull off anything better than me. And anything I do, I do far better than your crackhead.
You can try to kill me all you want. But don’t forget he’s already chosen and you aren’t the one. You can track me on Facebook all you want to make sure I see everything you put. If you really didn’t give a fuck about what I say about you then you still wouldn’t be pushing what you’re doing.
You’re old enough to know where your boundaries are, and yet you’re still dumb enough to walk over them to territory that’s not yours. 
It doesn’t matter what you do he’s never going to replace me with you. To him I’m more than what you are, and more than what you will ever be. If he was going to rank us you know you’d be down low with all the other hoes, while I’d be there right by his side. I don’t have to outdo you, I’ve already out done you because I have him. You can bring all your memories, but those are only memories. That disappeared when you guys used to be friends.
Now you’re nothing to him. He doesn’t even want to talk to you, and you just throw things at me. You’ve lost your mind being stupid because he’s already rejected you and said he didn’t want you yet you still push everything. Sadly, you’re undoubtedly ugly as your personality. Your make up is done wrong you put rings on your face to make everything to look powerful when you’re weak.
Your duck face reminds me of a goose and you already know the person he comes home to isn’t you. And you can’t call me a bitch when you cussed at me the day we first met on here because that shows you who the bitch is compared to who was being polite. You can call me a hoe it’s no different from calling me a bitch. But if you have evidence of me being a hoe you have no right to call me one.