Fear Takes Over

Is it that I think too much? Is it that I’m faithless?  Is it that I’m too scared of anything and everything?  Or is it the shine that was once there is now gone. Dare I try to search for happiness, when I’m covered by shadows, when the bonds were broken and the bridges wee burn. Where was the world when all I saw was pitch black? Call me blind, I’ll admit it. Call me a coward I’ll admit it. Call me a liar show me your evidence. Call me a name to objectify a woman, show me your evidence, and not you hear say.
Degrade me to the very last existence of my self esteem I’ll take it in and give you a compliment.  Bury me in physical harm, I shall fight back with all my might. Throw an object at me, I’ll throw it back to you. Throw my body against walls I’ll scream and retaliate quickly. Give me a nightmare, I’ll live it until it ends. Give me a memory and in seconds it will disappear.
Drain my brain of fluids and I’ll stay still. Poison my insides and I’ll haunt you in spirit. Failure to put me in the ground will cause you plenty if regret. Hang me from a noose, so people could see your happiness from a murder, of what looked to be a child. Beat me with every breath you have, and waste your energy so keep you thinking your revenge will give you the best attention you’re asking for. Break my spirits while I’m already broken. Color me black and blue and if you look closer you can see the scars of slashes and slices for what we’re once bloody cuts.
The fall was simple, but was the drop you launched that easy, as it was being planned. Did you achieve the seeing the blood dripping from an innocent body, thinking it was someone you hated to the very core of your own bone. Or was it only a coincidence that they looked almost as similar to them. Did that urge you let consume you, until you realize your act was a total failure to satisfy your craving.
Did those good memories in your brain show you an image you didn’t want to believe is true, or did you just push it away like every person, who knew they could get close to you, and when they did you couldn’t admit the fact you finally grew a heart. That you’re finally filling that void that has been drilled deep into your body. It had been drilled so deep that the connections of that void was like a black whole, a bottomless pit.

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