They Don’t Believe You Little Bird

souls

Little Bird people think you’re only depressed, they don’t believe you at all. Such humans are easy to trick, idiots, no one is going to check on you. Those few people who are checking on you are the only friends you got? People you don’t communicate with are better off not knowing what’s going on. They’re always going to be better off without you. You’re nothing so enjoy that insanity you have going on. All that banging, screaming and fighting you’re doing to stay out completely isn’t going to help you very much.

You’re honestly lucky I’m even letting you out at all. Especially because you’re so weak, undeserving, and useless. People don’t even realize that I’m not only your depression, I’m your anxiety, I’m your stress, I’m your worries, I’m that feeling that’s continuing to kill you each day, each second, each hour, each minute. People only see the Little Bird, but they don’t even know who they’re really talking do, since I let you switch places with me back and forth. Silly people, this is the only way for you to silently disappear from people’s lives, but you already know that. Soon you’ll be put away again until school starts, and each semester is going to repeat.

This is more hilarious people read your imprisonment but still don’t understand it, they still don’t see that you’re trapped, and I’ve taken over. They don’t know why images where changed because you never change any of your pictures, not even if it was for a difficult situation. You might as well disappear no one’s going to understand it at all. No one sees your cries anymore, no one see you trying to reach for an opportunity to break out. They just ask to see if you can flip a switch and say, “I’m honestly happy.” At least I can lie about everything, and all your stuck with doing is watching it happen.

Why people even bothered with you, I see why. It was only your kindness that took them by the hand anything else you showed turned them away. You don’t even know what’s going on with yourself as an individual. Even though you’re mentally strong your heart is only bent not broken, but you don’t need to know that. You’re empty now you say? Huh? That was too easy what do you have planned in your plots? It’s okay you don’t need to lie I can see it in your face your too weak either way.

They can’t see a damn thing, even if they read between the lines, they only see you talking about pain, not about the fact that you’re not you anymore. So stupid, you feel guilty because they feel guilty, but can’t even tell their guilt is their own and yours is just being human. You weren’t even given the allowed to be human, so you’ve been treated as if you’re a robot. You have a shitty support system of friends, even if you’re slightly opening your feelings you know you still must hide it anyway. Because being strong for everyone is all you can be when you’re weak and bent.

People say the all you post are sad things, when honestly, you’re trying to show and tell them you’re confident and happy, but they’ll never know that because you showed it through your actions but not a single person acknowledged it. Everyone saying a therapist is good for you because they think you’re batshit crazy, they think it’s going to help you but, it will make you worse. You’ll be the look down from everyone.

They think you’re expressing your feelings when I’m exposing myself and revealing myself, as, Lost to the world. They don’t even notice they don’t believe anything you say or do. You’re seen as a sad little person in the world. Those friends who say they love you they don’t. Those friends who supposedly “seem to be grateful and appreciative” of you aren’t revealing the truth. You have a heart of gold and it does talk, the one person who held it couldn’t even see that it was talking to him and turned in it away completely. Everyone who saw your heart on your sleeve will always crack and break it, no one will hold it as close and safe as you once held a heart.

People only see your imprisonment as emotional pain and depression, they can’t even tell your bleeding and screaming they can’t even tell you were fighting as hard as you can to be the person you needed to be. The person you wanted people to really see as a better version of you because they only saw you being “sad”, being “depressed”. You have no use of showing a heart anymore, your life is just going to be a robot, your feelings are gone with you in that box. Your time to be out is up time for the lock up.

You take a deep breath every time to make sure you’ve gotten through the day and your still intact as a person so not one person sees you busted. You had an unknown flare up you panicked, you not even thinking let someone throw some lavender oil on you think it would reduce the blood red color on your hands and calm down but became worse even with washing it off with water. Your skin was exposed white lined and dried out. When you rubbed on lotion you still panicked, you stressed out, you almost broke and begged to go home. Your hand swelled up bad but still you continued to work because your goal was to stay, and not lose money. You said no voice for a few days so when I moved in it was easy to silence you right from the start.

Everyone says they can’t help you, because you need to help yourself and when you did, they still told you the same thing. When you told people, it was your fault for the cause of the break in your relationship they still thought you didn’t understand when you already told them you knew it was your fault. They continued to hold it over your head while discussing it and you already knew it. Every mistake is held over your head because no one will hold it back, you’re still not going to be forgiven for being the cause of your own relationship.

You’ll never be forgiven for anything. They say, “they’re grateful,” they only say that because they don’t want to talk to you. Every person you know doesn’t want anything to do with you at all. So, you might as well disappear and stay in this box, because you’re unwanted, unforgiven, undeserving, your useless, you’re a waste. No one wants you at all. No matter what you show, no one still see or appreciate it at all because you’re a waste of time and energy. When you pour your heart out all you got was denial, and that’s how you will live in denial and screams of the past. Everyone only sees you posting dark things, still thinking your sad, your depressed, they don’t believe you at all. They don’t believe anything you’ve said in the past or anything you said now.

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