Lost’s Laughter

Remember I’m a dangerous character in your mind that you’ve been fighting again for years Kim, and now that I’ve been let free its always a consistent daily battle, for you to even bother hanging by a thread. While you keep attempting to be this happy person you are, I’m going to have my fun and ruin every possible opportunity you have going for you.

Stop talking Kim you talk too much. You never know when to shut up, you never know when to stop picking. You’re still a kid everyone sees it, but you don’t even know it. You’re easy to convince you’re different to throw away. Kim what are you doing? You run so much you can’t even stop yourself. You’re almost out of time. Everyone sees you running but no one sees you stopping for a break. No one sees you at a rest stop Kim. You let me and pride get in the way. You pray, but you don’t rest your soul. You talk but you use the wrong words. You’re given suggestions but refuse them. You cannot be forced, nor can you be controlled only detained by the pain that holds you.

fallen angelSo, let it out let them in. Let them see the repairs to the damages that need to be done. You push everyone away because they can’t handle you? Kim you can’t even handle yourself. You panicked at a flare up that could have been fixed in a minute you refused to fix it when it started. How much times will you throw yourself under a bus instead of at a bus Kim? You’ve already had your heart feeling like it almost explodes a few times what more are you going to put yourself through? Everyone still sees you as that angelic little person not a full-grown fallen angel.

Every fight we have you lose a feather, you burn your feathers, you fly so high to get out of a box you are held captive in. You’ll always have that stupid part of you, Kim, that stupid part of you which shows you’re hopeful, that shows you’re stubborn. You just need to stop talking, because you talk too much, no one believes anything you say, it always shows up the opposite way of how you want it to be said. So, stay silent you’re burning your wings. You’re killing yourself emotionally. You know, you’re a broken record, but no matter what you do to change it, you’re record spins and scratches every record you’ve fixed.

Kim, you’re such an easy person to break. Kim, you have no idea what’s happening, you see it, but you can’t always act upon it to fix is as quick as I destroy it. I have ripped your soul into pieces as it heals. I’ve tugged every string that surrounds your heart enough you’ll turn yourself into a walking time bomb in your health. Kim, the bottom of your box never ends, but once you’re one the ground you need to stay there because that’s where you belong. From the top of this box the view is a beautiful chaos waiting to happen. You’ve grasped everything you have, and I’ve killed every piece of it. That war cry of yours that you made, that was completely ignored by everyone. These little cries that you have going on isn’t going to work anymore Kim. Look at you, you’re fallen angel self, is burnt and bruised internally, you’re barely even able to stand up.

You see this, this little flame you have in you burning? This little flame that’s your grit, your persistence, your hope, your confidence, anything that pushing you through to make it get through the day. It’s getting smaller, put a little bit more water it will go poof and fade out. When it fades out, you’ll be that person who filled your heart thirteen years ago. That person who was completely alone, mentally, physically, and emotionally. You’ll be that person who’s been alone all her life, someone who’s friendless, someone who’s quiet, someone who lives under a rock. You’ll be that person in a pitch-black space, and no one will help you get out. You’ll be stuck again but this time you’ll be there forever, and with school coming up it’s going to be an easy street to put you there. I’m going to trap you forever in darkness Kim.

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