Let me rest

Have a blessed Ramadan! (2)

I wish I could just tap out, take a break and breathe. I wish my mind wasn’t something that’s ways killing my spirit, my motivation. If sleep was my best friend right now that’s exactly what I would be doing right now but that’s not the case. You keep a happy face to everyone to make yourself believe that it’s okay you’ll make it. When in reality you want to go on a rampage, to break anything and everything you get your hands on to let you your own anger so you leave it to burn your heart. When you feel like your body is crying in pain, knowing how exhausted you are from lack of sleep to trying to make it to the next paycheck not only to live but to help yourself in the long term. Everyone has a complicated story, no one has it simple. No one has a silver spoon with their name on it nor are their any kind of wooden spoons either.

If you had everything done for you, then you were considered lucky, but at the same time if became more difficult for you in the long term where things would seem to go wrong later on because you didn’t know what you were doing, as far as everything having being done for you. Where did the time go when mental exhaustion has reached its limits, where when wanting to rest was more or a leisure, than a desire to do so. When did feeling like your feet were on fire, ever feel different from having to take breaks for a bit.

Be Honest

Dear self I have come this week to talk about where we when wrong last week. It is our weekly session. So? Where did I go wrong? Were did we go wrong? Talk let’s be honest.

The truth of the matter is that we forgot to do one of the blog post for that day due to the fact we had somewhere to go and it lasted all day and when we returned the was no more time left to do a post. That discouraged us since our goal was to do a post a day and because we failed in that we became weak of spirit. This is the honest truth of what happened last week when it came to our blog. As you can see it is discouragement that cause us to stop working and preserving on. so lesson for this week my dear self  is that you are capable of losing hope when things do not go your way. So learn to not lose hope or you will not make it very far and will be unable to complete the work/goals you set out for your self. So take encouragement and try not to lose hope but if you does forgive yourself because no one is perfect in all that they do the first time that they start. It took ninety nine tries for the light ball to be created after all. So forgive yourself and accept the fact that this is not going to be easy and life will happen but that is no reason to give up hope. 

Thank you myself for this talk. See you next week and this time the lesson we learned this week will not be forgotten.

Letter to myself


Hello dear self so I have return to see what plans for this blog we will decided upon and so to see where we when wrong last week. So where did we go wrong myself? Be honest and truthful.

Well we when wrong in the form of not having our posts preplanned at least three days in advance. If we had already prepared the posts then on days we where too tired we could simply have just posted the preplanned post on our social media and then relaxed. This is something we did wrong and should work on if we plan to post up each day and not just once a week or three or five only.

I see and I understand. By pre-planning we avoid being caught with nothing and becoming stress out. What else did we go wrong in myself?

We when wrong in the image preparing section of our blog as well. Even though we had the writing portion down and done we did not have the image done and that was a problem. So when preparing the writing portion also have the image portion done as well. You never know when you will have the time to write a post and prepare an image as well.

Okay I understand. So this week we need to prepare our blog posts with the images that goes with it at least three or more days ahead of time. More than likely we are going to have to this at night or in the evenings.

I agree.

What else do we need to work on for this blog to make it better and that we did wrong this  gone week?

The groups we are a part of on Facebook, twitter and google plus. We have either the wrong group we are a part of or we are not a part of the group that matches us. In other words we are not reaching the audience we are supposed to reach via the groups we are apart of. So make sure that the places we are posting to are places we are a member of and are able to comment in and what not. So cut down on the amount of groups you are a part of and focus on the ones that are pertaining to your blog. That is all.

I see. I see. Well thank you for having this conversation with me myself. It was helpful and now I have a clearer mind and path on how to solve our problem we are facing. See you again myself for our next talk. Later.


Plans for the week (May 21-28 2018)

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May we celebrate the fruits of the harvest while looking back at ourroots.

Dear self,

This is for you so that you can remember what it is that you plan to do for this blog for this week. It is meant to help you not forget. So let us began shall we myself? First of all on let’s make a list of the things we have already did on this blog last week.

On Monday you did nothing for this blog. On Tuesday you did nothing for this blog. On Wednesday you posted two things. You posted Keep Going and Because when you were little both of which had to do with the advice section of this blog. On Thursday you posted nothing. On Friday you posted Ocean Blue a poem and a artwork. On Saturday you posted the first chapter of your story Crawl. On Sunday you posted your first daily quote.

Monday= nothing

Tuesday = nothing

Wednesday = Advice

Thursdays = nothing

Friday = Artwork and poem

Saturday = Chapter 1 of Crawl

Sunday = Daily Quote

For this week myself this is what you are to post on this blog. Remember okay? This is the plan for this week.

Monday = Daily quote + Plans for this week/Letter to myself + News

Tuesday = Daily quote + Fashion drawing design

Wednesday = Daily quote + News + Review

Thursday = Daily quote + Songs

Friday = Daily quote + Reciepies

Saturday = Daily quote + Chapter 2 of Crawl

Sunday = Daily quote

P.S: Get a domain name for this blog, add blog to google webmaster and google analytics. Work on website SEO. Also post blog posts to facebook, twitter and google+. Add name to bloglovin’

I Miss You, I Miss Me More


I miss you, I really do miss you. I miss that smile across your face, I miss that curve of your smile every time you looked in the mirror. I miss you, I really do, I miss that glow in your eyes that light up your face, to make it brighter light the city lights, and those light are really dang bright. I miss you, I really do. I miss those times you would never stop laughing, those times that you never cared if a joke is bad or not it just sounded funny as it sounded. I miss you, I really do. I miss the way you used to look at yourself in the mirror without caring for those proportions, to make your you have that bone covered up with some meat, or that portion of your skin covered up with some thickness. I miss you, I really do. I miss how you used to wake up and you already knew it was a good day, after a nightmare, a happy dream, or a past experience.

I miss you, I really do. I miss hearing you say you can eat whatever you want, and not regret it at all. I miss you, I really do. I miss seeing you just walk away from arguments that were a waste of your time. I miss you, I really do. I miss seeing you just enjoying moments in time frames. I miss you, I really do. I miss seeing your smile through your laughter. I miss you, really do. I miss hearing the happiness in your voice. I miss you, I really do. I miss the fact you didn’t give up on your dreams. I miss you, I really do. I miss how you never cared about perfection, ever cared about being too skinny, too thick, too muscular.

You just cared about how you were comfortable in your own skin. I miss you, I really do. I miss how you would be able to take the day without having to worry about the stresses that would block your way. I miss you, I really do. I miss your innocent face that changed the world one day at a time. I miss you, really do. I miss your crazy self. I miss you, I really do. So be a better you, than who you were yesterday. I miss you, I really do. That’s you who you were, you were me.

We Wear A Mask



We wear a mask, a mask that can only us for the day as we realize our true self is not to he visible to people. We wear a mask to hide our emotions from the general public to disappear from the criticism that is instilled upon us. We wear a mask that other’s fear, but we see no changes in personalities. The mask that we wear earns all the love from people, but none of that same love is shown to our true self. If we were to reveal our true-selves away from the mask all that love that was earned would quickly die away. We wear a mask that would fulfill the pleasure in the eyes of the judges but none of those pleasures are to please the eye of the beholder. We mask we wear is a new mask every old mask takes the day of cracks and wreckage of war pulled to screw us over. No each mask keeps us from falling off the bridge we seek to reach but truly reach it with pure true self. We wear a mask to shelter our pain, to keep our judging mouths to a minimum. We wear a mask to stop killing joke that never sounds funny. We wear a mask to hide our kindness to protest our weakness but mistaken it for spite instead of strength. We wear a mask until it becomes part of us, a mask that never really reveal the darkest secret and the scarcity of our lives.

We wear a mask to ride the killing joke, to follow the world’s broken trends. We wear a mask to lose ourselves in what we do. A mask to forget who we truly are. We wear a mask to pull ourselves out of the graves that’s been buried six feet under our hate and wretchedness. We wear a mask that throws our a fishing line to hide our anger from the next victim to pass on what we’ve been given although the next victim never deserves it. We wear a mask that pulls a man’s heart out of the depths of darkness, as a woman whose purified and broken descends from the heaven. “Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?” Ask the man from the darkness, no the woman says. “But it does hurt when you touch me at all, you’re words or unkind and whatever poison ales you must be released to be full hearted again. You’re mask is already broken and your emotions are dripping through similar to blood.” You attempt to take the old mask off but it refuses. It sinks into your skin, it remains apart of you, so a new mask you put on, and another mask and another mask and another final mask is put on. But still no sense of the true self-given any love.

Every crack, every stain, every bruise and whole give to these masks are the results of war. Every time wasted and effort blown up to the nothingness, was thrown back into the hole that plunge six feet under. We wear a mask to ride the perfect storm of a broken societal prophecy that’s been given to us.

We masked our faces for the given templates we continue to anger and hate what is uncontrollable, but what can still be controlled continues to be hated and angered towards us. Throw a few needles it lights a fire in a haystack. Skip a few rocks and trip into the river, have a few good shots and land behind a dumpster. We wear masks to hide our emotions, to hide are broken feelings. We wear masks to hide our defenses from those who think they seem to know us. We wear a mask, a mask that can only us for the day as we realize our true self is not to he visible to people.



Can you hear me or am I a faded voice in the wind? Can you see me or am I invisible to you and not just the whole world? Can’t you feel my presence around you or am I a hologram that you walk through everyday? Am I the wind that blows in all directs that you avoid? Are my foot steps covered by the ocean and dust that you can’t see me at all? My heart bleeds the word “love”, as I fight my battle for it. As I move one step closer you move three steps back and turn away from me. As weak as i look is just as heavily broken and drowning I am. The thoughts of my pain killing me softly, taking every part of me away.

My body turns weak and still yet I’m completely invisible to you and I’m going crazy from it. As hard as i try not to make this fight my last, to keep myself from going six feet under, I… As much as I move away and try to get my second chance to start fresh, I can’t. Because everything I do still comes down to the same old situation driving me up the wall to hysteria. So I strike willing to take the battle with my last shot, I’m down to my last breath ready to win or be broken by the mold that held me up for so long.

I say my goodbyes to all those who mean so much to me. Yet who I meant so little to. This was it and I lost. Dropped six feet under, lifeless, emotionless, invisible. Forgotten.