Let Me Pick Your Brain

Let me pick your brain and take you somewhere unimaginable. Let me take you somewhere where you see pictures that will relax you. Let me pick your brain and tell you something surprising, let me pick your brain and let me blow your mind. You’ve lost your way, let me help you find it. Let the rush of the wind take you to another world. Hey you, yes you, the one who’s reading this, you have a goal right? You have a dream you want to come true right? So…What’s stopping you? Loss of inspiration? Loss of motivation? Not sure what to talk about or how to start? What keeps you in your bubble? Don’t be afraid to try something new. Go ahead try something new, do something that scares you the most something that would keep you as a person going to reach your goal. Let me pick your brain and open those path ways that you’ve never seen before.

What do you do, when you’re stuck in a feeling that keeps you at a low point. How do you change it. What do you do when that feeling hits you hard, how do you stop that feeling that hurts you mentally emotionally and physically. That feeling that stops you from wanting to do everything you really want to do but can’t. Do you ever turn out that pain that makes you feel constantly sad but you hold it in so hard eventually you know you’re going to break and when you break down you try not to break down in a public place or you try to break down where no one can see you no one can hear you where your secluded from everybody else your secluded from the world completely.

I Miss You, I Miss Me More

me

I miss you, I really do miss you. I miss that smile across your face, I miss that curve of your smile every time you looked in the mirror. I miss you, I really do, I miss that glow in your eyes that light up your face, to make it brighter light the city lights, and those light are really dang bright. I miss you, I really do. I miss those times you would never stop laughing, those times that you never cared if a joke is bad or not it just sounded funny as it sounded. I miss you, I really do. I miss the way you used to look at yourself in the mirror without caring for those proportions, to make your you have that bone covered up with some meat, or that portion of your skin covered up with some thickness. I miss you, I really do. I miss how you used to wake up and you already knew it was a good day, after a nightmare, a happy dream, or a past experience.

I miss you, I really do. I miss hearing you say you can eat whatever you want, and not regret it at all. I miss you, I really do. I miss seeing you just walk away from arguments that were a waste of your time. I miss you, I really do. I miss seeing you just enjoying moments in time frames. I miss you, I really do. I miss seeing your smile through your laughter. I miss you, really do. I miss hearing the happiness in your voice. I miss you, I really do. I miss the fact you didn’t give up on your dreams. I miss you, I really do. I miss how you never cared about perfection, ever cared about being too skinny, too thick, too muscular.

You just cared about how you were comfortable in your own skin. I miss you, I really do. I miss how you would be able to take the day without having to worry about the stresses that would block your way. I miss you, I really do. I miss your innocent face that changed the world one day at a time. I miss you, really do. I miss your crazy self. I miss you, I really do. So be a better you, than who you were yesterday. I miss you, I really do. That’s you who you were, you were me.

Be Afraid or Not Afraid

fear

You see your pride right now is has gone to far up your a** that you can’t even see how bad you’re making the situation. Swallow your pride and bring your attitude from a ten down to a zero, because although everyone knows that you’ve done the crime, you’re making it so much more obvious by manipulating your signature. Everyone can tell because they know who’s the last person in and how the evidence looked before the crime had taken place and after the crime had taken place. You need to learn to stand up for yourself because the more lies that you make up the more that karma is going to take it’s chance for you to slip up and bite you hard in the back. You’ve taken it too far and you can’t even see it, because no matter what anyone tells you, you will completely ignore it. Everyone is getting irritated with you, and you can’t even control yourself. You’re screwing up your own job, but pretending to have your episodes and hiding things and repeating the same thing, blaming every situation on everything else and not yourself. You’re lack of responsibility is taking a toll on yourself because you can’t even own up to your own mistakes. You’re lack of actions are letting you dig your ditch deeper and deeper, everyone sees it but you. You’re proving yourself you be not only a broken record, but a person who’s taking everything for granted.

You think the friends you’ve gained now are true friends because you work with them and say the same thing every single time. You think that they don’t notice that they know you’re habits when you’re on the clock, you need to rethink your position. If you tell people that you’re being blamed for the wrong thing is because they’re telling the truth. If you think they’re wrong for saying what is being said to you, you need to learn from the crime that you’ve committed because if you never do the same thing will happen to you. You won’t know what to do, you told someone else that your own friend is being too much to a point that you feel like you can’t do anything, but you still continue to go to them for help like they don’t even know what’s going on, and when they tell you that they can’t help you and tell you to stand up for yourself like you really think you know what you’re doing especially after you’ve already irritated the people in higher positions. Good luck with the situation when it gets worse because if you don’t come out now it will catch up to you. When they find out it’s you who committed the crime, good luck on the next thing that you’ll be working for. The trust that you’ve build is broken from everyone, all your situations go downhill because of your lack of responsibility to take you action on making it better.

You’re already on the line to make it or break it but since you had already started to break your good record of being a good person. It’s not going to make your case any better. I mean come on it’s 2018 already for crying out loud! If your resolution was to see how much havoc you can cause congratulations on starting beginning that resolution because in the end of it all when it’s all said and done it’s going to be you, who’s out the door. Swallow your pride and take your attitude of control down from a ten to a zero, in the beginning when you started you had credibility to work well with everyone, but when you began to screw yourself up, you attempted to drag everyone else down with you and everyone is refusing to be around you. In the beginning people didn’t have a problem with you, but when you began to screw yourself up, everyone distanced themselves from you. From one argument because people refused to let you take control of the way they wanted to handle a situation you reacted by caving in and messing yourself up. You’ve messed up the situation by themselves and when they have a story that is asked of them they will tell their own story and all of them will point to you doing wrong by committing the crime that you’ve committed.

It’s 2018, and this is supposed to be the year that you’ve seen yourself getting better, but instead you’ve completely started the year by breaking yourself to pieces. So congratulations, let the hunger games of your evil begin. Because I will make sure that 2018 is my year and it will become mine without you and your dramatic a**. No one will need or want you around when they can see someone else being a better person. Be bold, be humble, be stylish, and be smart, this is the year where we swallow our pride and use it to benefit nobody else but ourselves. Any drama that was in 2017 will stay there, because it’s time to make our dreams come true, you can continue chasing a dream that and keep dreaming for years, but how you approach any situation to reach your goals both old and new will depend on your reaction.

When you’re hanging on by prayers and fight everyday like it’s a battle look at both sides of a situation to make it better. You say one thing but do something else and say it’s okay because it’s you, but when someone else does that same thing you complain about not only one thing, but everything little detail that gets on your nerves and irritates you. Your irritation is the lack of change, you don’t like something then do something about it to make it better, because for better or worse it’s your damn life. Whether someone else screws your life, it’s your choice to let is continue to let it keep f**king you over or not. Let your home be your canvas for decisions and let the world be your battleground. Fortune and fame aren’t the opening doors to happiness that’s just the mirage to see how all the gold shines in the light and on people.

Nothing comes for free if you’re not willing to work at it. It’s not a silver spoon, platter or plate given to you. You can dream, but don’t dream forever if you’re not going to work for it. Get your head out of your ass, get your life together, because your head is stuck up your a** so damn far thinking that you got it all because you have someone close to you working in the same place. Well, sweetheart it will never work that way, nothing will be given to you like that, because if it was done everyone would be rich already there would be no such thing as the lottery and pawn shops to sell things.

We Wear A Mask

 

mask

We wear a mask, a mask that can only us for the day as we realize our true self is not to he visible to people. We wear a mask to hide our emotions from the general public to disappear from the criticism that is instilled upon us. We wear a mask that other’s fear, but we see no changes in personalities. The mask that we wear earns all the love from people, but none of that same love is shown to our true self. If we were to reveal our true-selves away from the mask all that love that was earned would quickly die away. We wear a mask that would fulfill the pleasure in the eyes of the judges but none of those pleasures are to please the eye of the beholder. We mask we wear is a new mask every old mask takes the day of cracks and wreckage of war pulled to screw us over. No each mask keeps us from falling off the bridge we seek to reach but truly reach it with pure true self. We wear a mask to shelter our pain, to keep our judging mouths to a minimum. We wear a mask to stop killing joke that never sounds funny. We wear a mask to hide our kindness to protest our weakness but mistaken it for spite instead of strength. We wear a mask until it becomes part of us, a mask that never really reveal the darkest secret and the scarcity of our lives.

We wear a mask to ride the killing joke, to follow the world’s broken trends. We wear a mask to lose ourselves in what we do. A mask to forget who we truly are. We wear a mask to pull ourselves out of the graves that’s been buried six feet under our hate and wretchedness. We wear a mask that throws our a fishing line to hide our anger from the next victim to pass on what we’ve been given although the next victim never deserves it. We wear a mask that pulls a man’s heart out of the depths of darkness, as a woman whose purified and broken descends from the heaven. “Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?” Ask the man from the darkness, no the woman says. “But it does hurt when you touch me at all, you’re words or unkind and whatever poison ales you must be released to be full hearted again. You’re mask is already broken and your emotions are dripping through similar to blood.” You attempt to take the old mask off but it refuses. It sinks into your skin, it remains apart of you, so a new mask you put on, and another mask and another mask and another final mask is put on. But still no sense of the true self-given any love.

Every crack, every stain, every bruise and whole give to these masks are the results of war. Every time wasted and effort blown up to the nothingness, was thrown back into the hole that plunge six feet under. We wear a mask to ride the perfect storm of a broken societal prophecy that’s been given to us.

We masked our faces for the given templates we continue to anger and hate what is uncontrollable, but what can still be controlled continues to be hated and angered towards us. Throw a few needles it lights a fire in a haystack. Skip a few rocks and trip into the river, have a few good shots and land behind a dumpster. We wear masks to hide our emotions, to hide are broken feelings. We wear masks to hide our defenses from those who think they seem to know us. We wear a mask, a mask that can only us for the day as we realize our true self is not to he visible to people.

High Spirits and Low Pains

spirit

Drown yourself, that’s what they say, you have nothing to live for. Drown yourself, that’s what they say, you have nothing left to keep up with. Drown yourself, that’s what they say, no one wants anything to do with you. Drown yourself, that’s what they say, there’s nothing that will change people’s minds to see you as a good person. Drown yourself, that’s what they say, happiness isn’t what you need since you’re a lost cause. Drown yourself, that’s what they say, you have nothing and you are nothing. Drown yourself that’s what they say because there is noting in your life to be worth living for. Drown yourself, that’s what they say, you mean nothing to them. Drown yourself, that’s what they say, nothing will ever go right for you. Drown yourself, your not a thrill for people as a person anymore. Drown yourself, that’s what they said, you’re both meaningless and hopeless. Drown yourself, that’s what those voices say, but yet I’m still here looking at myself wondering why am I bothered with at all?

Fall apart, that’s what they want, they don’t know your strength or weakness. they don’t know that you do belong some where, they don’t see the love that’s wrapped around you, the love that’s brought you so far from the dark areas of your life. Fall apart, that’s what they want to see, down goes all of your happiness, down goes all of your smiles, down goes all of the hard work that you’ve done to accomplish in everything you’ve fought for. Fall apart, that’s what they want, up goes all the pain that you’ve gained. Built up stronger all the pain and anger that you have growing on you. Build it high, all the pain inside, that fiery hate you have starting to light red. Burn all the good things that you’ve ever known, burn all the memories that’s brought you to a good place. Burn it all, that’s what they want, that’s what all the voices say.

They don’t know you, they think they do. They don’t want to see you successful, they don’t want to see you be happy, they don’t want  to see you be a better person. They want you to fall, fall apart and drown yourself, they want to you break down to pieces and not be able to come back strong.

How long?

How long have I known you?
Old friend
Drifting together in the ocean that is life
How long have I loved you?
With passions like the winds
At times light and gentle
At times fast and furious
How long have you know me?
Five years?
Ten years?
All my life?
How long have you loved me?
With a steadfast love like the earth
At times strong and steady
At times weak, soft, breakable
How long?
I tend to forget
All days mashed together
How long?

 

Spring Break

I…
    ….. dream of spring
             ……..of dancing in the ocean blue
I….
    …..dream of laughter
                   …….of sunlight illuminating my skin
I…
     ….dream of ice creams
                    ….of long endless roads
I…
     ……dream of the out doors
                    …..of a star filled sky
I…
    …..dream of spring break