She sits in the dark, she tries to reach for the light, she falls and trips, but gets back up. The light distance itself farther and farther from her, they tell her perfection is what we want and it’s not what you have. So back away, back away into the darkness, back away from the goals you’ve built up, back away from every good thing that you’ve known. No matter what you say you’re not perfect and perfection is what we want. Broken is what you are and fear is what you’re made up. Bravery is what you lack and soul is what you’re losing, she screams internally as loud as she can because in her reality, everyone is going about their business like there’s really nothing is happening. She’s got everything going for her, she’s got the best of friends, the best of family and has nothing to hide. Her mind screams internally screams at her telling she lacks the perfection, the precision to be on the spot, to be the right person for anyone to see as a good person.
She sees her faults but her faults aren’t flaws their her personality. She disagrees with all the positive feed back and makes all kinds of silence in her reality. She holds on to what she can but forgets the rest of move on, she burns her brain to forget the voices that stop her from running, the voices that stop her from speaking, the voices that stop her from trying, the voices that stop her from being the person she wants to be. She tries to reach from for the light, she falls a thousand feet per second, and she sees a mirror. She sees her reflection in the mirror but that’s not her, she sees the person in the mirror, she sees they’re covered, covered in scars, covered in regrets, covered in pain that continuously revives, continuously breaks her confidence, and then again she’s told she lacks perfection She lacks the personality to be herself. She remembers that the reflection in the mirror isn’t her, that’s not who she is, that’s not where she is at in this moment. She had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, she wasn’t alive when she was lonely. She a figment of imagination from the piece of spec to the human eye.
She drags herself across the floor, because her feet won’t let her move she pulls herself with her arms, because her legs won’t help her feet move. She scratches dirt to pick herself up, and attempts to stand up, but feels a blow to her back. She falls again in agonizing pain, and a get she pulls herself up from the dirt, again another blow to her face. She’s been beaten bruised and thrown on her back, she lands on her knees, then stands back up. She receives a blow to the face, and lands back on the floor. But she still forces herself to stand up, and takes another blow straight to the chest where her weak heart is found. She falls again, and screams in excruciating pain, from the last hit to her chest. She stops moving and her whole body freeze not being able to move. She begins to internally scream, “Get the fuck up, get the fuck up, get the fuck up, you need to move, you can’t stay here. Get up now!!!” She keeps to screaming herself constantly, “Get the fuck up, you need to keep moving, they’re fucking coming back to kill you, get the fuck up already.” “Look, I know you’re hurt, tired, and can’t take this anymore, but that’s the reason why I need you to get back up and start running like there’s God damn tomorrow!”
She begs herself, “Please fucking get up we’re almost at the light, I swear once we’re in the light we’ll be fucking safe I promise, but right now we need to get here and we need to move. We need to leave, we need to get far away as possible because Pain and Murder are coming they will kill you! This has taken too long and we should have left long time a go, and this is our only fucking chance to leave.” She forces her weak-hearted, beaten and bruised body to gain one last strength to run to the light, before Pain and Murder come back after her, she escapes to the light and escapes every path that would leave any kinds of traces to the light. She reaches the light and finally lets out a breath of relief, she sees her bruises disappear and her heart is no longer weak, but stronger than ever.